Post Secret: i'm from a sperm donor. I'm envious of kids who were adopted because their fathers didn't jack off in a cup for money.

Lights come up on second grade classroom, TEACHER has passed out wood pieces and wood glue to make tool boxes.

TEACHER
Okay class, Fathers Day is coming, so we are going to make tool boxes for your dads. First you have to take you bottom piece and glue the two rectangle pieces onto it long ways.

TEACHER begins to circle the room to watch their progress. BILLY is sitting staring at the pieces of wood, but not participating.

TEACHER
Billy, why aren't you making your toolbox, don't you want to make your dad something?

BILLY
I don't have a dad...

TEACHER
Oh. [awkward] Well... would you like to make a picture for your mom?

BILLY nods his head, TEACHER goes to retrieve supplies

SUSAN
Its okay Billy, did your mom adopt you? My mom and dad did.

BILLY
No, I wasn't adopted, my mom is my real mom.

SUSAN
Then wheres your dad?

BILLY
I don't have one.

SUSAN
Well, if you have a mommy, you must have a daddy some where... [pause] Did your daddy die?

BILLY
I don't have a dad, I told you.

SUSAN
Did he die when you were really little or something?

BILLY
I don't have one, I've never had a dad, just a mom.

SUSAN
Then you must be adopted like me.

BILLY
No, I wasn't, hes- [pause] My mom tells me that my Father was a donor, and that my mom wanted to have a baby really bad, but she didn't have a dad to have one with, so my Father donated.

SUSAN
Donated? Isn't that when you give money away? Why would he give money to your mom?

BILLY
He didn't, he gave her something else..

SUSAN
What did he give her?

BILLY
He gave her something called-

TEACHER returns with paper, markers, and crayons.

TEACHER
Here you go Billy [collecting wooden pieces.] Susan, enough chit chat, and get to work, your running out of time.

SUSAN begins to work. BOY raises his hand

TEACHER
Yes Thomas?

BOY
If Billy isn't going to make his toolbox, can I make it? That way I can give one to both of my dads?

TEACHER
Sure Thomas.

TEACHER walks over to give BOY the pieces.

BILLY
[under his breath]
Lucky, how does he get to have two dads when I don't have any?

Lights fade.