Post Secret: I tell all the guys I meet that my roommate has an STD that way they'll go for me instead of her.

Lights come up on GIRL 1 and GIRL 2 in their apartment, they are sitting and watching the Food Network channel. GIRL 1 is more attractive than GIRL 2. They are silent for a few moments

GIRL 1
So I have a guy comin' over in a few minutes.

GIRL 2
Yeah?

GIRL 1
yeah.

GIRL 2
A new guy?

GIRL 1
yeah

GIRL 2
What happened to Todd?

GIRL 1
I don't know, he never called me back.

GIRL 2
That's too bad, he seemed like he really liked you.

GIRL 1
Yeah I guess. But it doesn't matter, Dan, the guy that's coming over tonight is so much better, and he doesn't smell like gym locker.

GIRL 2
[hopeful, excited]
Oh really?

GIRL 1
Yeah, hes really nice.

GIRL 2
So whens he getting here?

GIRL 1
he should be here soon. [pause, as she gets up] I better brush my teeth and put some make up on. Will you answer the door if he comes?

GIRL 2
Sure...

GIRL 1 exits, and GIRL 2 sits by herself for a few moments. There is a knock.

GIRL 2
[getting up]
Coming!

GIRL 2 walks over to the door and answers it. DAN is standing on the other side.

GIRL 2
Come in.

DAN comes in

GIRL 2
Lori is in the bathroom, she should be out in a few minutes. [motioning to the couch] Would you like to sit down?

DAN
Sure.

GIRL 2 sits on the couch, DAN sits down on the other end. GIRL 2 gets up to manually turn the channel on the T.V. even though the remote is on the couch. She sits back down, right next to DAN.

GIRL 2
So, how long have you known Lori?

DAN
About a week and half. We met at a hockey game.

GIRL 2
aw, well that's nice. I've known Lori almost my whole life.

DAN
Oh, really?

GIRL 2
Yup. I know know the good and the bad about Lori. And then there's the very bad. [laughs a little]

DAN
Like what?

GIRL 2
Huh?

DAN
Well you said the very bad. Whats the very bad?

GIRL 2
Oh, nothing I can tell you, that's not what friends do.

DAN
Are you sure?

GIRL 2
No, I really can't.

DAN
Oh common, I won't tell.

GIRL 2
You promise?

DAN
Sure, yeah, I promise.

GIRL 2
Ok well, this is between just you and me but [inching closer, practically on DAN'S lap, speaking quietly]Lori is kind of... well a whore, and she has like chlamydia, and herpes. She just got this weird ointment for her crabs so those should be gone soon. [pause] So um... make sure you use protection.

DAN
Um... well Thanks.

GIRL 2
Oh no problem... [stroking the inside of DAN'S thigh.] but you know, you wouldn't have to use protection with me.

DAN
Oh, really...

GIRL 2
Yeah.

GIRL 2 begins to whisper seductive things in DAN'S ear.

DAN
So, when do you want to?

GIRL 2
oh anytime, I just can't let Lori find out.

Bathroom door opens, GIRL 1 enters, GIRL 2 pushes over to the otherside of the couch.

LORI
Hey Dan, are you ready to go?

DAN
[looking at GIRL 2]
Actually, tonight isn't a good night for me. I got to go.

LORI
Um, ok.

DAN begins to exit, giving GIRL 2 one last look.

GIRL 2
Hey, I'm going to get some Chinese food, do you want me to get you anything?

LORI
no, thanks, I'm okay.

GIRL 2
[trying to hide a smile]
You sure. You don't want any crab rangoons.

LORI
[flopping onto the couch, changing the channel]
No thanks, I'm just going to stay here and watch other people be happy.

GIRL 2
okay, I'll see you later then.

GIRL 2 exits. LORI sighs and lays down on the couch. Lights fade.