Post Secret: I take the stairs to avoid awkward elevator rides.

Lights come up on EVAN, at the elevator. He pushes the button and waits for the elevator to come up. When it comes up MAN steps out and nods at EVAN and keeps walking, EVAN steps into the elevator very quickly and pushes the up button over and over again really fast, he is trying to get the doors to close before some one else steps into the elevator, the doors start to close when MAN 1 tries to slide through.

EVAN
[pushing MAN 1 back through]
Sorry, the doors are closing, you will have to catch the next one.

MAN 1
[pushing the doors open]
Nah, I can make it.

MAN 1 enters the elevator.

MAN 1
[pushing a button]
close one huh?

EVAN
[pushing a button underneath MAN 1's button so he can take the stairs]
Yeah, close one...

MAN 1
You going to 7?

EVAN
uh, yeah.

MAN 1
Oh, when I got in it said you were going up to 24, change your mind?

EVAN
umm.. yeah I'm just going to take the stairs.

MAN 1
Oh.

Lights flicker, MAN 1 and EVAN move to side to side as the elevator lurches. MAN 1 bumps into EVAN

MAN 1
Oh, sorry.

EVAN
'ts okay.

MAN 1
I think the elevator is stuck.

EVAN
great... Lets use the emergency phone.

MAN 1
Nah, lets stick it out, I'm sure they know about the problem and the elevator will be up and running in no time.

EVAN
No I really think we should use the phone. [begins to pick up phone]

MAN 1
[taking the phone back. Places a hand on EVAN'S shoulder] Trust me, it will be fixed in a few minutes.

EVAN
[moving away]
Um yeah okay.... Just don't touch me please...


Lights fade

Lights come up on EVAN and MAN 1 in elevator. MAN 1 sits in one corner of the elevator his jacket off. EVAN stands rigidly.

EVAN
Can we please call now, its been ten minutes. I'm late for a meeting.

MAN 1
[getting up, sighing.]
Yeah, I'll call.

MAN 1 picks up phone, and dial number.

MAN 1
Hi. Yes, The elevator is stuck. [pause] Do you now whats wrong with it? [pause] Oh. Well how long until its up and running? [pause] Oh no, its okay, no rush. [pause] Thank You ma'am, have a nice day. Thank you, buh bye. [hangs up phone] Well she was nice.

pause, EVAN waits for MAN 1 to speak

EVAN
So?

MAN 1
hm? Oh yes. She said that they dont know whats wrong yet, and that it will be about 45 minutes to an hour before we can get out. So you might want to make yourself comfortable.

MAN 1 sits back down. EVAN stands rigidly for another moment or two, then sighing sits down in the opposite corner. There is a pause where MAN 1 drums his fingers. After her is bored of this he starts to hum a tune but can't remember the whole tune and stops. He stops, and starts to count the number of tiles on the ceiling. He only gets to about 10 before he is bored of it. MAN 1 Sighs.

MAN 1
So tell me your life story.

EVAN
My life story?

MAN 1
Yeah.

EVAN
No thanks.

pause.

MAN 1
You want me to tell you my life story?

EVAN
Not really.

MAN 1
Okay well it started when I went to my first day of kindergarten, thats the first thing I remember. I didn't have many friends at first, I actually got picked on a lot. It wasn't very good at first. Then Susan Minansky kissed me on the cheek, then I was really cool. [pauses reminiscing] Those were the days, when everything was so simple, you know? The hardest thing I had to do was learn how to tie my shoes and buckle my belt right. In the second grade, my grandpa died, he was the first person I knew that died... But it wasn't very sad because he was a miserable bastard. In the fourth grade I had my first girlfriend, we never talked, but thats how it is when your young like that. Later that year my parents got divorced, [lights begin to fade] and so did me and my girlfriend. Terrible year. But then a fell on happy times. I got my first after school job in the fifth grade working for a butcher.... [lights fade]

Lights come up on EVAN and MAN 1 in the elevator

MAN 1
When I was 22 I I got engaged-

EVAN
[sarcastic]
amazing...

MAN 1
I know, who would of thought, me of all people to fall in love in get engaged. We were very happy-

EVAN
I bet...

MAN 1
But things didn't work out so well. We were moving furniture into our apartment and-

EVAN
Let me guess, she told you she changed her mind, and left. But then came back and and their were "happy times" again?

MAN 1
No she-

EVAN
[guessing not really caring, sarcastic]
Fell in love with another man?

MAN 1
No-

EVAN
Was really a man?

MAN 1
No she was-

EVAN
a lesbian?

MAN 1
[ irritated]
No. We were moving furniture, and she tried to pick up something to heavy, she said her head hurt, and slumped to the floor. She had an aneurysm...

EVAN
Oh... [awkwardly] sorry...

MAN 1
Its okay. She's in a better place right?

EVAN
yeah.

Lights flicker and elevator lurches. MAN 1 stands up.

MAN 1
I guess they got the elevator started.

EVAN
[standing up]
yeah I guess so.

MAN 1 and EVAN stand in front of the door, with their arms in front of them. Doors open.

MAN 1
Its your stop.

EVAN
I think I'll ride up to the 24th.

MAN 1
[pushes the 24 button, stepping out]
Well have a nice ride.

EVAN
Your not riding?

MAN 1
No, I feel like a walk. See you later.

EVAN
Yeah. [pauses, door starts to shut, EVAN grabs it] Hey, I'm sorry about what I said, it was unkind. I'm sorry.

MAN 1
Its alright.

EVAN
[as doors shut]
Maybe we'll get stuck again sometime.

MAN 1
yeah maybe.

Lights fade.